Peeving

Cultural artifacts from the 21st Century that give me the pip:

• cupcakes Who the f%7k! thinks they can make a living selling these sickly-sweet overfrosted fat bombs? A cupcake shop is just a hobby that some rich dude bought for his otherwise insufferable squeeze. If he’s clever, he’s writing off the losses to save on his taxes. Unless, of course, it’s a money laundry.
• bottled ice tea Really? You’re too frickin’ lazy to put a tea bag in a jug of water and let it steep for half an hour?
• fur babies Mondo creepy; are you breastfeeding? No one who uses this phrase can be my friend. Nor should be in the same room with me. Yick.
• mancave If that’s what you call your room filled with fake-ass sports memorabilia bought at the mall, you’ve lost the button on both the man and the cave parts. A den or TV room is OK, a garage, workshop, or cookhouse is better. Much better.
• pumpkin spice Enough with the obnoxious scented candle crap, OK? Anyone advocating this stuff deserves a pumpkin spice suppository. Or,,,