Awards?

I just received an amusing campus email

Dear faculty,
I am attaching the spreadsheet that UT System has asked us to provide.  The information needed is basic information about the Honor/Award, Faculty Member’s Name, Department, Rank, Tenure Status, and information about when the award was received.

Limit awards to those award categories listed below:
American Academy of Arts and Sciences
American Academy of Nursing
American Association for Advancement of Science Fellows
American Council of Learned Societies Fellows
Fulbright American Scholars
Guggenheim Fellows
National Academy of Engineering
National Academy of Sciences
National Institutes of Health (NIH) MERIT
NEH Fellowships
Nobel Prize
NSF Career Awards (excluding those who are also PECASE winners)
Sloan Research Fellows
Pulitzer Prize
…

You can rest assured that had I received either a Pulitzer or Nobel Prize, there would not be a single person on campus who did NOT know about it.