New Year’s Rant #1

OK, I’m going on record with the things that absolutely, positively must be removed from the public sphere, because they’re lame, hackneyed, pretentious, or just bore the crap out of me:

Affirmative Action: 43 years since the Civil Rights Act, and all the King’s horses and all the King’s men can’t come up with anything better than quotas and set asides?  In the argument that the Federal Government is out of creative ideas, this is Exhibit #1.

Denim Clothing:  We were all so trendy and revolutionary back in the Sixties, wearing denim shirts and blue jeans was us college kids’ way of showing Solidarity with the Downtrodden Masses, making us all look like ChiCom factory workers.   Nowadays the Proletariat are wearing distressed, stonewashed $60 designer jeans, and everyone looks like a stumblebum.  Denim fades, wears unevenly, won’t take a crease, and can freeze you to death in the cold and wet.  Save denim for your bib overalls when you’re out working in the barn.

Spaz Dancing to Rock and Roll:  Pop culturists are just as lazy as bureaucrats–otherwise we’d have some better new dances than the Boot-Scoot Boogie and the Macarena.  Breakdancing is pretty hip, but dang few men over 50 can do backflips and floor spins.   This inane bobbing and gyrating that passes for dancing in most clubs (especially the cheap-ass ones with the 200 square-foot dance floors) makes most folks look like either mental patients or hootchie dancers, neither being a good impression to make in public.  And here’s a shout out to guys who say "I can’t dance!" — get your dead ass away from the TV for a couple of hours a week and take your wife to dance lessons, so you don’t embarass her in public at the next anniversary or wedding reception.  You might enjoy folks thinking you’re a classy guy, instead of a left-footed bohunk.

Fat Chicks with Entitlement Attitudes:  they’re all Spaz-Dancing at the clubs!  The rest of the time they give women a bad name.

End of rant.