Vegetarians are Smarter?

The latest in a long line of trival studies suggests that vegetarians have higher IQs than us carnivores. Of course, many of these so-called self-identified vegetarians think chicken and fish are vegetables (I bet that question wasn’t on the IQ test). Hard-core, no-meat-eggs-or-milk vegans, on the other hand, have lower IQs (well, duh! Their mothers are mammals, but they don’t drink milk, because they’re so smart). I suppose we’ll all be hearing tortured versions of this bull$h!t statistic shouted far and wide by every pasty-faced vegangelist* who’s too dumb to stalk an egg. I can hardly wait.

*Hey! Don’t go Google-ing to see if it’s a real word, that’s dopey, and rude. If the advertising guys can coin synchopathology, I can invent vegangelist. You know who I mean, you’ve met one or two in your time.

Update (18 December). Not one to miss a kerfuffle, the ever-observant James Taranto spots the chicken-and-fish thing, and names these dimwits carno-vegetarians. Maybe I am getting the hang of this blogging thing, if I can get ahead of Taranto once in a while.