Good writing matters, an example

One of the major repercussions of the Jack Abramoff indictment is Congressman Tom DeLay stepping down as Speaker of the House
House Majority Leader.  Two congressmen have declared their
interest in replacing DeLay, and both have written letters to the House
Republican Conference.  Read these and see what a difference good
writing makes:

Here’s the letter from Representative John Boehner (R-Ohio):

January 8, 2006

I’m
writing to seek your support for the opportunity to help lead our
Conference as Majority Leader. I’m seeking your support because we need
a Conference with the courage and confidence to tackle our nation’s
problems.

I want to start a conversation within our Conference
– a conversation about renewal. Renewal in spirit, renewal in
principles, renewal in commitment.

We are inherently a party
that believes far more in our constituents outside the Beltway than in
the institutions within the Beltway. The vision that brought us to
majority control of the House reflected that: a vision of smaller, more
accountable government and of a society deeply rooted in principles of
personal responsibility, faith in the future, and freedom. That’s the
vision that inspired me to enter public life, and I think it’s pretty
consistent with what motivates a vast majority of our Conference, and
our party as well.

But it’s a vision that requires faith and
profound commitment, particularly when those who believe in it are in
control of Congress. It’s easy to keep in your mind and heart when
you’re in the minority. When I was a freshman serving in a
Democrat-controlled Congress, it was relatively easy to expose
corruption in the House bank; or as a sophomore, to help dismantle
Hillary Clinton’s health care plan. Operating behind the enemy lines of
the Beltway was easy, because the traditional forces driving Washington
weren’t paying attention and we had no real chance for driving a
legislative agenda.

Governing in a manner consistent without our
fundamental vision, on the other hand, is hard. It’s hard because
Official Washington is driven by an innate suspicion of what a free
American people can really achieve. And it’s hard because there’s a
cynical refusal to acknowledge the seriousness of the problems we need
to solve if our children are to enjoy the kind of bright, promising
future we owe them. Moving forward with a vision that represents
freedom and responsibility while the forces of Washington’s status quo
push for control and denial isn’t just hard; it’s exhausting.

So
I think we need to engage in a bit of renewal, as a Conference. This
isn’t easy, either. After I lost a leadership race in 1998, I had to
renew myself – confirm whether the principles that led me to Congress
were still relevant, whether the substantive goals I’d wanted to
accomplish were still feasible, and – above all – whether I was willing
to make the necessary commitment.

And I did. I sought the
counsel of my closest friends and allies, gathered my team, made my
commitment, and immersed myself in the day-in, day-out work of my
committees. I did what I could to help my colleagues and help the
Conference. And two years later, the Republican Conference rewarded me
with the chairman’s gavel of the Education & the Workforce
Committee.

As Chairman, I got a chance to apply some lessons and
learn some more. I learned that without a clear and thoughtful
strategy, the only consequence of hurling a lot of bodies at a
difficult goal will be heavy casualties. I learned that we truly are
strongest when we work as hard at being a team as we do reaching our
policy goals. I learned that if your vision is bold and compelling, and
you advance it with confidence, you’ll always win the fights that
really count. Above all else, I learned leadership isn’t just about
talking, it’s about listening, and then applying what you hear toward a
common goal.

These strike me as useful lessons for the present
time. We’ve had a tough run recently, some of it of our own making.
We’re concerned about the future of our majority. But I also believe
that if we are able to renew our energy and our commitment to our basic
principles, the best is yet to come.

I’d like to help drive that renewal as your Majority Leader.

Renewal
does not mean neglecting short-term needs. We absolutely need to make
sure we are in the best tactical position possible to win in November –
that’s a given. But I would argue that this starts with agreeing on a
common vision, identifying an agenda that reflects that vision, and
working together in a concrete, confident manner to achieve it. If we
show voters what we believe in and provide them with policies based on
those beliefs, I’m convinced we’ll prevail.

What else does
renewal entail? Most importantly, it means acting and thinking with the
confidence we owe our constituents and our country – a confidence to
think boldly, to be candid about challenges we face, and to undertake
all the work necessary to achieve our goals. If we work together, with
candor, dedication, and imagination, there truly is no limit to what we
can achieve.

I look forward with talking with you personally in
the next few days about this important subject. I hope that you share
my optimism, and that you’ll support my candidacy.

…and here’s the letter from Representative Roy Blunt (R-Missouri, House Whip):

Dear Colleague:

Tom DeLay put it best when he reminded us that as a unified team, our
Republican Conference is unstoppable. I am writing to you today to
request your support for my candidacy for House Majority Leader.

We
need to remind the American people of our vision for a freer, safer,
and more prosperous America. Our vision promotes entrepreneurs and
encourages job growth by limiting regulations, protecting property
rights, and lowering taxes. Our vision for America defends the family
and the rights of parents to direct their children’s futures. Our
vision secures our country by fighting terrorists on their own soil,
providing our armed forces with the resources and support they need to
defeat the enemy, and ensuring that we have the tools necessary to
thwart the next attack before it occurs.

The American people
want common sense solutions. They believe, as we do, that government is
too big, too bureaucratic, and creates as many problems as it solves.

We
need to reform and reprioritize our government. The private sector
continually does more with less by utilizing technology, market
incentives, and by prioritizing the best use of their limited
resources. If you elect me your Leader, we will work with our
committees to reform government by adopting, where appropriate, the
best private sector practices. If Wal-Mart can track the movement of a
roll of paper towels out of any store in the country, and Citibank can
seamlessly process hundreds of thousands of banking transactions a day,
there is little excuse for inefficiencies and waste in government
programs.

This approach requires smarter, not bigger
government. For families and businesses, new expenditures almost always
require a reduction in spending somewhere else. The government should
be no different. We should recommit ourselves to the notion that
government is big enough already by ensuring that any new initiatives
are paid for by reducing or eliminating lower priority programs the
government already funds.

The past six months have been some
of the hardest for our majority. We faced events outside of our control
from natural disasters to runaway prosecutors to corrupt lobbyists,
while a unified minority and their dedicated band of 527s pursued one
goal: denying us legislative victory on the floor and electoral victory
in November. Despite these obstacles, our Conference performed well as
a team, racking up impressive legislative accomplishments, including
passage of the Deficit Reduction Act, tax reconciliation, an
across-the-board spending cut, the PATRIOT Act, and a border security
bill.

Unfortunately, the recent scandals have caused some to
question whether we have lost our vision and whether the faith they
have placed in us is justified. While I have no doubt that it is, it
will be difficult to move forward with our platform until we regain the
trust and confidence of our constituents by enacting new lobbying
reforms and enhanced penalties for those who break the public trust.
Like the Speaker, I am committed to moving forward with these reforms
in the next several weeks.

I look forward to speaking with you
personally about our vision and to listening to your ideas for our
Conference and for our agenda. As your Whip, I have always tried to
listen to all the elements of our Conference, so that we could move
forward together to achieve our common objectives. I pledge to bring
the same approach to the post of Majority Leader, and I hope I can
count on your support.

You don’t have to be a
conservative or even a Republican to see the difference in the two
letters. Boehner certainly has the bold-committment-to-renewal-vision
thing; by the time I got to his third paragraph I was looking for my
red pen to write "What a crapweasel!"  This is a perfect example
of everything good writing isn’t–it’s vague, cliche-ridden, and all
about me, me, me.

A couple hours later I read Blunt’s letter
and was pleased to see that there is at least one literate person in
Congress.  This letter is a direct and concrete call to action.
Blunt too has vision, but he sees specific goals: national defense,
individual rights, and leaner, less intrusive government.  Agree
with him or not, this is a stand-up guy–and he (or one of his
staffers) is a heck of a writer!

Tip (and shamelessly cut and pasted) from The Corner.

Update (9 January): D’oh! Tom DeLay was House Majority Leader, not the Speaker of the House (that’s Dennis Hasert–I knew that).

Update (10 January):  For those who care less about red marks on essays and more about earmarks on appropriations bills, here’s George Will’s take.

Tip from the Instapundit.